| ..... you should
never have joined. |
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| In the early 1970s there
was a comedy show called 'On The Buses'. This
was centred round the antics of a bus crew
and their arch enemy, the inspector. The show
became compulsive viewing, so much so that
we had to see the end before going out on
the next journey. The canteen in Southampton
was upstairs and passengers on the top deck
of the buses could see in. It didn't matter,
we and they were going nowhere until the programme
ended. You can always make up a quarter of
an hour. |
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| There
was a spate of sabotage on unattended vehicles.
A crew would come back from the café
to find all the seats removed. One crew suffered
a variation on this. They found the branch
of a tree had been dragged upstairs and pushed
the length of the top deck. The branches had
opened out under the seats. The only thing
to do was take the bus to the garage and find
a saw. |
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| One driver used to boast
about being better than everyone else. Taking
over a bus in the Rose Gardens one day, he
found the seat had been raised as high as
it would go, the handbrake was pulled on as
tight as possible and the engine was running
but the power was switched off so he could
not select a gear. Having successfully dealt
with all of this in front of the watching
crews, he pulled away and drove straight onto
the pavement. The steering had been turned
as far as possible to the left. |
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| It's the little things
that give the most pleasure. A wet afternoon,
we were late and the people seemed to be taking
forever to board the bus. I was upstairs and
as soon as I saw the last woman get on I hit
the bell. The driver pressed the button to
close the electric doors and pulled away.
I watched the woman walk from the platform
into the bus. She had a pole under her arm.
It stuck out behind her. I looked out of the
window. For some strange reason there was
a heap of leaves by the bus stop. |
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| Traffic lights could
be fun. Not looking what I was doing, head
down collecting fares on the top deck, out
of the corner of my eye I could see the mirror.
Someone got on. I rang the bell. The driver
pulled away. Through the red light we had
been waiting at. |
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| A variation on this game
was played by certain drivers. They would
pull up in the wrong lane at traffic lights.
The driver of a following bus, knowing they
were on different routes, would automatically
take the lane alongside. Then, to the first
driver's amusement, the second would set off
in the wrong direction when the lights turned
green. |
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